Wednesday, August 30, 2006


My friends are not really cool with you, Spouse Equivalent. I don't know how I could explain the fact that I'm not only in love with you, but that I also need you. That we don't always fight for serious reasons. That if there's anyone taking anything for granted, it's me. And that they'd really have to trust me on that point.

I wish I could tell them properly. But bias comes first. They have stopped trying to understand you and your twisted logic. Its tiring, I know. But they are not in love with you.

Why do I feel the need to explain, anyway? Time heals all wounds. Right. Of course not. Only Band-Aids heal all wounds. At this point in time, though, no Band-Aid is big enough to cover this laceration of betrayal between friends.

We'll see. We'll see.

Monday, August 28, 2006

I am A Lucky Duck

I feel restless. If a verb could talk, it would say exactly how I feel like lately. I need to pare off this excess energy and go back to the relaxed, sedentary life of a bed tomato.

Well, how. Lately there's been a lot of org meetings, of which I have attended none. Some things are afoot and I think I have to paricipate or so. Responsibility. I hate that word when the world requires me to apply it to certain...tasks. Maybe I'll come around and do whatever is required of me. Eventually. Or not.

There are two reports for two separate subjects, and these reports are a considerable chunk of my future grades. These reports require a lot of excess energy and more. But no. I sit here and just complain about them. Fine. I'll do them next week. Or so. or not.

I am undergoing a period called a Book Surplus. I am swamped with too many good books. They're a nice way to waste my time and excess energy on, hunh? I am, after all, a lucky duck. I like saying that. I am a lucky duck. I may have been a duck in my past life, who knows, and Andy was this maiden who cooked me for Christmas dinner. Are you annoyed now? I am a lucky duck. Anyway, this duck can't seem to be found in a disposition to sit down for a minute and read. This duck falls asleep. On Douglas Adams, at that! Now there's something wrong with me. Or so. Or not.

Speaking of stuff that are something wrong. I downloaded a song of K's Choice that's entitled 'Something's Wrong'. Well, they're my favorite band and I love the way they surprise me everytime I download a song of theirs. They just never do the same thing twice. Anyway, in 'Something's Wrong', the first line is:

if your pubic hair's on fire
something's wrong

And I just had to do that in bold. Yeah, I know it sounds awfully juvenile. But I still get a kick out of it besides that fact. How many songs are awfully juvenile nowadays anyway? They're either awfully good or awfully bad now. This song is simply awfully juvenile. Another line is: if your girlfriend's got a penis/something's wrong. It's not really bastos. It's art. Awfully juvenile art. It reminds me of Stephen Lynch's 'Hermaphrodite'.

So. The point of all this fiddle which is not really a point but simply a horrible waste of your time, your resources and your little grey cells which from an economic point of view should be a suitable time for shut-down is that:

I am a lucky duck.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Bookworm Heaven

I was complaining about not knowing where to spend my money, right? Well, now I know. Booksale and Diplomat are the best ever! I think they restocked or something, because yesterday they were both loaded with great books. I bought 15 books for 380 pesos. I just went crazy.
So I first scooted to Diplomat, bored, until I found Alduous Huxley's Island and my luck built up. I bought about four worth only 19 pesos each. Then i went to Booksale and they had even better books. I bought eleven, and the cashier asked me if the books were for a school project.

I went back to Diplomat to get Cc a copy of this sci-fi book I lent him, which he liked, it only cost 19 pesos. The guard asked me if I went to Booksale and if I saw a copy of The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Incidentally, I did. It only cost 70 pesos and it looked unused, too. So he gave me a hundred and I went to their rival store and got him a copy. In exchage, he gave me a tip: Diplomat is going to restock again on the first week of September. And another: they've got Agatha Christies stocked somehwere for 15 pesos each, and asked if I would like him to find me some. I was broke by that time, so. Next time.

Oh, wait, before I forget. I bought a copy of Maxine Hong Kingston's The Woman Warrior for 15 pesos. I heard about it because of my Humanities 1 class. One of its stories is part of the syllabus. When I opened the first page, I saw this:
To Joe,
Maxine Hong Kingston
It was autographed! Now, when my classmates clutch photocopied pages when we discuss it, I have an autographed book. Well, the autograph was not originally intended for me, but I got her signature, nonetheless.
Now I'll get back to Douglas Adams' So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish.

Friday, August 25, 2006

An Agnostic (Zoo) Animal

What’s more romantic, indigestion or an ulcer?

I went around school yesterday with a malfunctioned stomach. Stuff like that happens to other people, but not me. Almost always not me. I have a fairly healthy digestive life, thank you. And why are we talking about digestive lives? Uh oh, there’s something amiss here. Ms. Lanuzo (gasp!) probably has no social life.


Thank That-Being-Who-Is-Known-As-God-To-Other-People-But-Not-To-Me for sci-fi addicts. I wrote somewheres around April that I wish I’d meet a fellow sci-fi freak. No, not those who occasionally say ‘ooh’ to some pathetic sci-fi author wannabe. I mean, the hardcore urgh grunt who lives for the real thing.

Anyway, for SocSci 2 Sir Jal finally went to class. Now that’s a novelty. He gives these great discussions as if giving them is his ultimate happiness, which in turn, makes us ultimately happy. We were about to discuss St. Agustine and Aquinas so he asked who was Catholic. Profuse show of hands. Christian? Confusion, but hands still went up. Agnostic?

One hand. Mine.

I was sitting in the back corner, and when Sir nodded in my direction after I raised my hand, people in front were like ‘huh? Who’s that freak?’ I dunno, I felt a bit like what a zoo animal would have felt if it knew how to say it. I was dressed in black and looked the part of the agnostic zoo animal, anyway, so what the hell. I stared at this girl in the eye when she turned around twice. Next time Ms. Some-one-or-other-who-never-changes-her-jacket, give me some nuts.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

A Discourse on the Prominent Display of Male and Female Unmentionables in National TV

After Encantadia and Darna, I have successfully become acquainted with Captain Barbel and Majika. Majika, I have completely given up on. The heights of stupidity it's characters have stooped down to are unbeatable. Even Darna was about .0000001 % less stupid than Sabina.
Juno: Mamamatay ka na!
Sabina: Wag mong gawin sa akin to, maawa ka na sa akin! (dear, you have a wand)
Juno: Gagamitan kita ng itim na majika! (gathers up energy with her wand as her boobs are prominently displayed)
Sabina: Huwag! (use your fucking wand!)
Juno: Etong para sayo!
Sabina: (stares in fake fear as her boobs jiggle) Ahhhhhhh!
Sabina: (boobs theatrically die)
Captain Barbel is not so bad. The plot makes a little sense, at least. His costume doesn't look so bad, except for that distracting bulge somewhere in the regions of...well. Suffice it to say that a guy dressed up in the traditional colors of Ronald McDonald ought to be a hit. Never mind if he's mestizo though his parents have a healthy Bora tan. Never mind if people do not recognize him even though he wears no mask. Never mind a lot of things, because he's Richard Gutierrez and all sexes swoon over him and not for you. Or me.

A More Frustrating Economic Crisis

I feel horribly unhappy. I just got my first ever salary. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough to buy me stuff that will make me happy for the next week or so. But. I am horribly unhappy.

As I roamed the mall, I went to my usual haunts: Booksale, the shoe place and the clothes place. I stared at the titles for ten minutes and suddenly remembered that I bought four novels last Friday. I bought a pair of shoes, but they only cost a hundred, and one pair of something that cost me a hundred does not satisfy me. Screw marginal utility. I looked at all the shoe places and found out that there is not one single pair that I even a bit like. I went to the clothes place and rummaged and rummaged. To my dismay, I found out that I already have every piece of clothing that I need and do not all want. I remembered that I splurged in Divisoria only a week ago.

This is the stuff of nightmares. Have you noticed already? I CAN”T SPEND MY MONEY!

I considered buying this really large can of Picnic (ketchup) to go with the novels, but then there are certain weight considerations. I considered sushi, but I can only get some from Tokyo Tokyo and the place I’m not really in love with. I wanted to buy some fruit shake, but I don’t want to ruin my pretty five hundred peso bills. So there.

I can’t spend my money. I am mired in economic crisis; I am incapable of maximizing my resources and thus am guilty of not living up to my Production Possibilities Frontier and my charts of Supply and Demand. I am really frustrated. I never thought I’d live the day when I don’t know what to do with my bedamned money.

Oh, I hate irony.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Lately I like to eat and eat and eat. Whenever I see food, I immediately want it. I am in a nasty food binge. I even ate sashimi. Its tastes like soy sauce. Oh, and pretty people with big boobs please dont eat at Karate Kid in Robinson's Manila; the management may ask your name, for some shadowy purpose beyond human comprehension. No, I dont have big boobs. And pretty is not an adjective for me.
Why does Captain Barbel look like a matinee idol? You know, with dimples, gelled hair and mestizo skin. I mean, him flying at high altitudes, you'd think he gets doubly exposed to deadly UV rays. But no. He's whiter than I am, and I'm cooped up in air-conditioned cans everyday. Speaking of air-con cans. Why is it that when there are exams, the air-con gets turned up max? Is it some terrorist conspiracy among profs?
Some people are just romantic disasters waiting to happen. No, I don't mean you, Gutless Girl. Although I may. But no, this one is not for you.
Some people are just give aways---they fall too easy for most people. Some people are just hardliners. These are pickier than most, and even when they catch the plague called we-all-know-what, they need MORE convincing. Usually, when I judge people (I judge people, sue me if you dont), I neatly put them in either two groups. Usually, my intuition is right.
When suddenly! I have discovered a specie who belongs to an unheard-of, maybe evolved, third class: romantic disasters waiting to happen, i.e., people who would just fall for ANYONE. At anytime.
Let's all review: the Easies, the Hardliners, the Romatic Disasters Waiting To Happen.
I just love walking around with Betch, Mishee, Andy and Mary. People part and cars stop.
What kind of place is this? Where you almost mean what you say? Where laws almost work?
-Cinque from the movie Amistad


In the last post, I committed the argumentum ad hominem.. I insulted the commercial model, needlessly (although she got it coming. She is still stupid, but in an argument, you don’t say that. Political correctness is the thing). I also mentioned that it is easier to pity than to think. Well, let me tell myself that it is much easier to hate than to think. And. I should have explained why Cha-Cha is not good news, in the post. But I already have, in an earlier one, so let me be.

Which is not to say that I’m taking back anything. I just love contradicting myself, especially when I know I am wrong. So why didn’t I just edit the whole thing? Why another post? Well, the errors are more obvious. Errors are important.

Hi Mam Sioco, I love you, your mole, and your sadistic screech. And of course, your color coordination. I have a nasty feeling that I will dress up like you when I get to live your age.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Wag Kang Lechitas

Nagagalit ako pag napapanood ko yung commercial ng Sigaw ng Bayan kampi sa Charter Change. Yun yung commercial na may naka-belong itim na (supposedly) ay OFW tapos may dugo yung kamay niya habang umiiyak at nagmamakaawang matuloy ang Cha-Cha.

Oo, nakakaawa ka na. Babae ka pa man din. Pero bwisit ako sa iyo dahil ang bobo mo. Ano ba ang gusto mong palabasin? Na ang Cha-Cha ay mabibigyan ang bansa natin ng make-over? Ano ba ang akala mo lechitas? Na mababago ng Cha-Cha ang masaklap na katotohanan na ang dayuhan pa rin ang magpapalamon at magpaparusa sa atin?

Hindi ko na ipapaliwanag sa iyo ang mga probisyon na nais ipatupad at baguhin ng Cha-Cha sa ating konstitusyon. Hindi ko na ipapaliwanag sa iyo ang simpleng lohika na kahit magkaroon pa ng isang daang Cha-Cha dito sa Pinas, isang daan pa rin ang mangungurakot ng mga pangarap mo.

Meron pang isang commercial na patungkol sa Cha-Cha subalit ito naman ay taliwas dito. Ito yung may mga iba’t-ibang sector sa bansa na naglalahad ng mga masamang epekto sa kanila kung babaguhin man ang konstitusyon. Ang commercial na ito ay hindi mapalabok. Hindi ito madrama. Klaro nitong ipinapahayag ang kanilang posisyon na hindi gumagamit ng pathos. Ikumpara mo naman sa commercial ng Sigaw ng Bayan! Siguro may maiiyak pero ang mga taong kagaya ko mag-isip (at nag-iisip) ay mapapamura na lang.

Sa ibang salita, madaya ito. Ika nga, fallacious at faulty ang argumento. Gumamit ito ng Argumentum Ad Misericordiam at Ad Populum. Yung isa, appeal to pity---paawa effect ang habol nito, hence the crying and the blood. Sa isang banda naman, tinatarget nito ang majority---ito yung may mga kamag-anak at nagtatrabaho mismo sa ibang bansa. Hindi makakaila na marami sa atin ang naghanap na ng ginhawa sa katas ng abroad. Yung tatay ko nga eh, nasa Saudi ngayon.

Subalit, kailangan nating mag-isip. Hindi tayo dapat nagpapadala sa awa sapagkat sa Cha-Chang ito nakasalalay ang kinabukasan nating lahat. Cliché? Pero totoo. Sa debate, gumagamit lang ng mga fallacy pag walang magandang puntong maihayag ang kalaban. Bilang tao, pinakamadaling maintindihan ang paghihirap at pagdurusa ng ating kapwa. Kung tutuusin, mas madaling maawa kesa mag-isip. Problema dun, hindi ka pa nakakalingon, nayari ka na.

Buti sana kung ikaw lang. Eh isasama mo pa ko.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Go Go Day

Went to Leslie's and Regine's debut parties. Leslie in Laguna (where we left 8 pm Saturday and arrived in Cavite 7 pm Sunday). Leslie's was happy, Regine's was somber.

Anyway, details to come later. I'm itchy all over, didn't have time to take a bath as I rushed off to Regine's place in record time. Ligo muna. Bye bye.

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Gutless Girl

Some things we want badly enough to sacrifice a few lesser things. Lesser things, like pride, like time, like self-esteem.

I think some people end up unhappy because they don’t know what they want, and what they want badly enough. Mind you, they are two separate things, their magnitude measured in two separate scales. Unfortunately, no one can tell you how to categorize your desires. You would just have to make do with your almost always faulty judgment, and before you know it, you’ve lost everything that matters to you.

So now you’re left with yourself. Yourself to congratulate if you end up being in the right, and yourself to blame when you’re in the wrong. And that’s it—risk. Without taking some you’re a loser. Without it you’re getting nowhere except where you’ve always been. If you don’t risk anything on a bet, duh, then, it won’t be a bet, just a meaningless venture. And life is a bet. Do you want yours to be a meaningless venture?

How do I end this.

No guts no love life.


Wee. Finally got myself an org. Or an org finally got myself. Or an org and myself finally got each other. Er. Whichever the case is, I finally got myself an org.

Yesterday was the grueling final rites day. Of course whatever happened inside NEDA is top secret, but if you’ve done CAT, the equivalent for it would be the initiation rites. And I hated CAT, so.

But yesterday was fun! I guess it would be safe to divulge the fact that as a getting-to-know-you activity, we made a (?) play. Koreanovela Boy was the star of the show. (Short biography: Koreanovela Boy is Betch’s Hum 1 classmate who keeps citing this Korean soap, Irene, whenever he recites). Day, ang bading! I think he’s the gayest guy I’ve ever met. Gayer than Reighben. Shit, gayer than Mikee. That’s saying something.

Just a summary: Jasmine (played by Koreanovela Boy) from the Koreanovela soap My Girl fell into a river. Then, Kapitan (a charming BehSci student, Roj) from Jewel in the Palace saved her. Then Freyja called Jasmine back to ABS-CBN, where she met her love interest, Julian (played be me). Nyanyanyanyah. Haring Jung-jong (Kiko, BehSci) was sick so he needed an entertainer…voila! Jasmine did a sleazy dance for him. Julian comes along to take her away, but Jung-jong was bisexual, so he asked Julian to perform too. Well, Jasmine and Julian fell in love which made the King mad. He asked his soldiers to take them away. Enter Jasmine’s Lolo, Chairman (Kenny, an energetic guy from Nursing) in a wheelchair, to save his apo. A scuffle ensued, to the tune of the Captain Barbel theme song, and it ended with everyone dying.

Whoot. That is so not a summary. The whole thing was the impromptu-est thing I’ve done so far. But it’s undeniably one of the funniest. =)

So now I’m finally a member of something formal. Now what could that possibly mean?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Maligayang Araw

Ang saya ng araw na to. Kanina dapat sa SocSci 2, magpaparticipate ang class namin sa UP system-wide lecture via the net. Nung huli naming ginawa yon, masaya naman, may forum pa at siyempre, kung san may forum, may stupid question.

Anyway, kanina nga nasa ILC kami. 10 am dapat yung lecture, tapos ayos na, andun na yung UP Cebu, UP Los Banos at UP Open University. UP Visayas at UP Diliman (kung san manggagaling yung lecturer) na lang yung hinihintay namin. Tapos, nagka-problema ata sa connection, kaya 10.30 na, naka-tanga pa rin kami sa tapat ng projector. Daldalan.

Mga 11, wala pa rin talaga. Ang ginawa na lang nung facilitator, nagbukas siya ng isang Macromedia Flash Player presentation patungkol sa Fermi Question. Maikli lang: ang Fermi Question ay isang tanong na walang eksaktong sagot dahil ang datus na susuporta sa sagot ay mahirap o imposibleng makalap. Halimbawa: Ilan ang buhok sa katawan ni Manny Pacquiao? Ilang Pilipino ang sabay-sabay na umuutot pagkatapos kumain ng tanghalian?

Eh di yun, ang saya ng presentation, lahat kami nag-participate sa question and answer portion. Matapos ang isang saglit, nagpa-videoke sila. Yung kanta ni Billy Joel, yung may line na 'but she's always a woman to me...' Ang saya! Kanta naman kaming lahat. Walang hiya eh! Tapos yung ibang kanta ng The Beatles, Dancing Queen, When You Say Nothing At All, Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely, at I Lay My Love On You. Ayos. Dinismiss kami ni Taguibao ng 11.30, pero makapal talaga eh, di kami umalis. Videoke...!

Tapos sa PolSci 14 naman nanood kami ng sine. Z yung title na hindi ko malaman kung French ba o Greek film. Tungkol ito sa pagtatanggol ng gobyerno sa sobrang obvious na political killings, or 'accidents', (sabi nila) na pinamunuan ng pulisya. Irelate raw ito sa current political situation, sabi ni Abaya. No problemo. Na-enjoy ko naman yung film kasi nakakatawa ito. Ironic. At ang galing ng mga aktor.

Ang araw na ito ay tunay na maligaya. =)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Ang hassle palang sumali sa UP Panitikan. Anim na araw ang activities, at sa Saturday yung initiation. Gayunpaman, nasisiyahan naman ako. Nakaka-challenge rin, sapagakat ang mga kinahihiligan kong bagay ang ipinagagawa nila.

Sa Day 1, gagawa ka ng isang tula, essay, photo o artwork tungkol sa buddy mo. Ang buddy ay miyembro ng naturang organisasyon. Si Ate Roan ang buddy ko, at ginawan ko siya ng tulang pinamagatang 'bellyup'. Patungkol ito sa nakakaaliw niyang pagtawa. Ayokong i-post, hindi kasi ako makata. Nakakahiya sa mga tunay na manunula, hindi ba?

Sa Day 2, na ngayong araw na ito, ang topic ay itlog. Hindi na ako pwedeng gumawa ng tula kaya may tatlo na lang akong pagpipilian. Tingin ko artwork na lang. Buhay pa naman ang mga gouache ko, kahit binanatan na ito ng mga ka-block ko nung gumawa kami ng diorama ng Los Banos Raid para sa Histo 1.

Ay oo nga pala, kaninang umaga may nakasabay akong isang lalaking mukang siga at maangas sa bus. Nakaitim siyang jacket at ngumunguya ng gum. Mahaba at magulo ang kanyang buhok. Tinitigan ko siya hanggang makaupo siya, wala lang, trip. Maya-maya, tumayo siya at pinaupo ang matandang babae na nakatayo sa tabi niya. Ayos di ba?

Yung mga lalakeng mukhang respetable at may asal pa ang mararamot magpaupo ng mga babae sa bus. Oo, humingi kaming kababaihan ng equality of the sexes, pero ang nais lang namin ay mabura ang chauvinism sa balat ng lupa. Hindi, mga tol, ang chivalry.