Sunday, March 19, 2006

Kant's Favorite Haunt

Cramming works, but you can't keep it going for an indfinite period of time. Look at what happened to me, as detailed in my last post. I swore never to be in such a pathetic situation again.

Because, I can't rely on cramming, and Cc, forever.

So I practically spent the whole weekend reviewing for upcoming exams. Back then, I was okay with waking up at 1 am. There was the silence and solitude to love. After doing it for one week though, I just about almost drowned in my own phlegm and urea. Long story. At about this point, I sigh. And swear. Never. To deliberately. Punish. Myself. Again.

What's with getting good grades? What's to work for? I can't answer that for anyone but myself.'s not the future transcript for the future job that I care about. That's too far off. It's not for the challenge, the sheer masochistic joy of learning. It's not because of my pride; not anymore. Sheesh, not even that anymore! I plod to get good grades because it will make my parents happy. They're not even pressuring me for anything. I just know. I recognize that its my duty to make me worth their while.

Duty. I've never even heard of that word during the far-off days of high school. Pathetic. And now I'm left to cope with it the best I can...the first step, is not to cram.

I look down, sigh, and shuffle off to Biology, that world of dead things inside the formaldehyde of the human mind.


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