Sunday, February 19, 2006

Unsolicited Advice

Getting into a relationship is not as easy as staying in it. That’s why I find it really stupid to fall in love and suddenly jump off to the Couples Welcome Wagon without caring how far the jump will be. Sure, you got a guy, you got a gal, and Little Mermaid killed herself. Don’t believe anything Walt Disney tells you.

Why do people want to get hitched, besides being in love? Maybe partly because from pressure. Society, even in the 21st century, does not look kindly on singles. But that is relative---it depends on how old you are. Be below 20 and single, and no one would really care. Your parents will tell you to finish college, your hitched peers will envy you and your single friends will party with you on lonely Friday nights. Be twenty-something and single, and you’ve got a problem. Your parents will ask when you can carry their grandchildren, as if they’re just a bag of oats. Your Friday-night friends will probably find that someone you haven’t, and look at you with the utmost pity as if they’ve never ever been single. Be 30-plus and single, and you’re a loser.

My, what pressure. At least we don’t live in the medieval times where you have to get married as soon as you get your menses, which will be by 12 years old. Once you reach 20, you are more or less considered a spinster.

What else…getting into a romantic relationship is also appealing partly because of selfishness. I mean, what girl (or guy) would not want to be pampered on stupid days like Valentine’s and birthdays? Who would not want to have a stable date on lonely nights for the rest of a given eternity? Who does not want sweet compliments on their ears at their disposal? Who does not want to have someone to flaunt in front of those poor single people? Ahh, the superficial joys of a relationship. But if pressure and selfishness on your part are the only reasons why you want to be committed to someone, think twice. Oh, make it thrice. Perhaps a hundred times.

It’s hard to maintain anything—cell phone load, grades, friendships, especially romantic relationships. I mean, hey, two very different people from two very different backgrounds are stuck together. They are faced with the challenge of trying to live with each other’s idiosyncrasies. Even given that they grew up in the same environment, they cannot possibly see the world the in the same way. Add to that the element of being in love, and you’ve just about lost the chance of stability.

The bottom line is…don’t hurry. Rush something and you risk getting hurt. Of course all of this is a risk, but taking a risk is different from stupidly charging head-on. Enumerate your priorities. If you think this is worth all your time, patience, and pride, well, go ahead. Just go ahead without believing anything that Walt Disney told you, and you will be just fine.


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