Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Pokers

We live in strange times.

We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say things like, ‘Oh hi, Ed! Nice tan. How’s Carol?’ involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the contemplation of the chaos through which they seethe and tumble. So give your kid a break, OK?

Extract from Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe

-from Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams

Parents are crazy animals. You live with them for nineteen years and for some unfathomable reason, they don’t understand why you are what you are and why you do what you do. Who the funk said that parents are instant psychologists? Psychologist, my ass! They’re just being nosy and know-it-all. Come to think of it, isn’t that what psychologists are paid to do?

Like yesterday morning, I was quietly and happily eating breakfast, making peace with the world, when this conversation ensued:

Mama: Break na kayo ni Geronimo no?
Me: [calmly says to self] My, what a wonderful piece of egg!
Mama: Break na kayo no?
Me: Whee this is fun! For some reason Ma finally remembered to salt the damn thing.
Mama: Break na kayo di ba?
Me: Easy on the rice, luv, you’re sorta gaining again.
Mama: Bakit ba hindi ka sumasagot, break na kayo no?
Me: Fuck, but I want another piece of ham! Where’s the ketchup fer chrissakes?
Mama: [pikon na] Break na kayo!
Me: [finally stops holding crazy convo with self and talks to mother] No comment.
Mama: Sabi ko na nga ba eh, ang showbiz mo naman.
Me: No comment, Ma.
Mama: Sus, sabi na nga ba eh, sa susunod dapat mahal ka talaga! Ang dali mo kasing makuha eh.
Me: [highly annoyed] Ma pwede ba wag kang magsalita ng ganyan, hindi mo alam kung anong sinasabi mo! Wag ka na lang mag-komento.

This ruined my morning. Why does she have to say insensitive things like that? There are so many other things she can tell me, so many other ways to poke. But she just has to find the one sore side, eh? The sorest side.

But I can sortof understand why she did that. Lately we haven’t been talking much, because as we all know, February-March are the hell months for those who find themselves unfortunately still in school. I’ve been busy, not only with school, but in other ehem aspects of my rather boring life. But. I still didn’t deserve that. Or did I?

Now I was supposed to write a long rant regarding parents and their eccentricities, but for some reason I lost interest. I’m a forgiving sort of person really. After breakfast.


Blogger Henrik said...


The reason why my parents never know about who my crush is.

2:06 PM  
Blogger PinoyHarbinger said...

Next time maybe you should NOT introduce your BF to your parents. Introduce him if you're pretty sure he's the right one. That or you got knocked up :) peace!

1:26 AM  
Blogger lizette said...

well i was pretty sure then. and getting knocked up is quite out of the question, and hopefully shall remain so. thanks for visiting!

1:36 AM  

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