Sunday, April 01, 2007

Shiny Black Balloon

I dislike kids. They’re mewling little things with fully intact egos, and that means they still believe the world revolves around them. Right, I don’t hate them. Just this mild dislike---me being a girl at this point in my life when my maternal instinct supposedly awakes, I guess it’s weird.

Maybe I dislike them because they require too much patience. That’s why I never wanted to be a nurse or a teacher; I just don’t fit the mold, and I don’t think I even ever did when I was littler. You know when you’re young and you want to be everything? I wanted to be an astronaut, a broadcaster, a writer, a corporate lawyer. You’d notice these professions have very minimal, if any, to do with kids. I don’t think that’ll change any decade now.

So that’s why I get really annoyed when my mom gives me her standard Don’t Get Pregnant for the Stupid Life of You Sermon. Why the hell would I want a kid of my own? When she gives me the sermon she makes it sound like making babies is primary goal of my life. I can’t even stand kids and my younger cousins are scared of me. I know she’s concerned about me and all that, especially now when teenage pregnancy is all the rage. But the concern is useless.

I think only stupid girls get unwanted pregnancy these days (barring rape victims of course). Sex education is very accessible today---you can find it on television, on the Internet, in classes, and hear about it from experienced peers. If you don’t get it you’re living in the wrong decade.

Of course I’m generalizing, but I hold that sex is not as taboo as it used to be say five years ago. People talk about it, people do it, and no one is about to stop. Everyone supposedly knows that getting a bare penis in a bare vagina has a very high chance of producing a baby. Everyone supposedly knows that a baby means care and attention, and time, and money---basically demands the mother’s life out of her. You don’t make one too early unless you’re willing to give up schooling, and a lot of other convenient things like respect from other people.

And that is what contraceptives are for. If you can’t control the urge to copulate, then bring a condom about your person at all times. Any non-stupid girl should know that. And because they know that, they don’t get pregnant. And you know what? I’m a non-stupid girl, in this regard.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t do it. If I did do it I’ll probably tell people because I see nothing wrong with premarital sex. I haven’t done it so far because I’m not interested in it. See, I’m a boring bitch who’s hedonistic, but not of the physical sort. Intellect can give me an orgasm, because I’m all cold like that.

So I wish my mom would stop giving me that sermon. I don’t like kids and I don’t do sex. If I can get those two points across, maybe she would trust me more. And quit ruining my Sundays.


Blogger Henrik said...

Yeah. I'd agree.

On the other hand you left when I uploaded the photo. zHrmmm.

10:12 PM  
Blogger PinoyHarbinger said...

hahaha. tell that to your mom so she'd quit ruining your sundays. anways, if you don't fancy sermons then sundays aren't for you :) don't try to go to the church to have a stress free sunday. lol. peace!

2:58 AM  
Blogger lizette said...

niko: i'll check it out soon as i get this comment in. my mom was harrassing me last night so i had to leave, what, four people hanging? bah!

pinoyharbinger person: i haven't gone to church since, i dunno, a long time? understatement of the day, that. welcome back!

8:23 AM  
Blogger Culture Shiok! said...

Very well said....

Hope your mom will get to know you better.

9:07 PM  
Blogger dotep said...

well, i am a kid!


sermon? papasukin sa kanang tenga tapos ilabas sa kaliwa.

11:22 AM  
Blogger lizette said...

CS: hopefully. well we've got all the time in the woild.

dotep: okay.

3:45 PM  

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