Wednesays, Coke Light, Isaw and Imaginary Fights

I feel stoned. I’m listening to pathetic piano instrumental music right now. Just two weeks into school and I’m knocked up—and not in that sense, okay. It’s a pretty day to-day, lot’s of birds chirping, lots of sun, extra dough to spend. But what do stupid me do? Sulks at home and listens to pathetic piano music, that’s what.

I so feel like a loser.

I’m supposed to be participating in a debate contest today, but it just takes too much effort, yes? I like to turn off my brain on Wednesdays so it works on Thursdays. I think I’m also supposed to turn up for an interview for editor-in-chiefship of the college paper, but that also requires lots of motor and neural coordination. Not good. Why invent Wednesdays when there are Thursdays, huh? Stupid calendar honchos, that’s why. Don’t! Ask me why.

All I need is someone to annoy and/or pick a fight with. Not some logical fight with coherent words; not anything physical. This kind would have a lot of mumbling and glaring and a general but amiable resentment towards the opponent. Very genial. Very stupid.

—
So this is what I did: I went to the mall by myself. What with this heat suffusing the country in the middle of the Christmas season, malls are the most logical places to go. It makes so much sense, I can’t believe I thought about it all by myself.

It may be a conspiracy. The mall owners of the country gathered together in a secret meeting and decided to fund the project of a mad scientist. The mad scientist has discovered a way to artificially alter the temperature at will. The analysis team hired by the mall owners correctly predicted that with higher temperatures, the frenzied pitch of Christmas shopping will extraordinarily increase. Thus, the revenues usually generated by the average gullible Pinoy quadruples.

—
After the mall, I went to the isawan near our subdivision. I gorged and swigged it down with Diet Coke.

Now that makes absolutely no sense, you know I thought about it all by myself.