To: Dear Reader

It was a slow, painstaking evolution (devolution?). Since I started college, I found it faintly distasteful to explain to people I’m not close with. First, because I rarely find the need---I don’t know them, therefore I don’t owe them. Second, I don’t think they’ll understand what I’m going to say anyway, so why say it in the first place? It’s a waste of precious saliva, and worse, even more precious words. Lastly, my friends know exactly what I mean most of the time. I trust them to have the necessary processing systems.

So what do I mean by ‘explaining’? It’s giving the exact reason why I’m going to do this and not that. It’s saying what I actually think. It’s not saying the most convenient thing that would happen to leave your ego unharmed. When we have a ‘conversation’ and you hear me telling you ‘that’s nice’ or ‘wala lang’ or ‘ewan ko’, you should get the drift. By that time, I have come to the conclusion that I don’t owe you anything (even a decent conversation), that you won’t understand what I want(ed) to tell you, and that you are not my friend.

That’s why I’m quiet most of the time. When I get noisy and start making crude jokes, I a.) have had coffee from Gonuts Donuts b.) am misguided into believing that I am wearing a pretty fly outfit and c.) like you and find you interesting.

Obviously, I am explaining right now. That is because I assume that by the time you have come to this line, you have survived the egotistic, self-centered, solipsistic, and pointless three paragraphs preceding it with enough comprehension left to read the conclusion, and thus, you are a friend. I know some people who read this page only to skim through it because they find it boring. That’s really nice of them.

And oh. I am a sarcastic person. I am not going to explain why and when I am.