The Incredible Absorbing Man

He is your all-around humor machine who never fails to make you laugh, even when you feel like eating live humans. He is your user friendly bag tree, and for that matter, anything you don’t want to carry.
He tells you again that he likes that outfit you’ve worn seven times already. He believes with all his heart that you never, and will never, get fat. He doesn’t wear a tight Spandex costume, and may usually just come in jeans and perhaps, a white shirt.
But he has superpowers nobody thought was possible.
After all, he puts up with you.

Sometimes, well, you just get mean. Maybe it’s the PMS acting up or the heat of the sun ruining your hairdo and your patience. Whatever the reason is, your niceness sublimes like a rotting mothball and the lucky target is him, the all-around humor machine, user-friendly bag tree, and costume- less wonder.
How could you?
Rather, how could he?
Take it, I mean.
You snipe and nag and act as if the universe revolves only around you, its Most Excellent and Most Gracious Empress. It is, after all, the express prerogative of the female species, and you never let him forget it for a nanosecond. He says ‘sorry’ all the time and sometimes you get nasty suspicions about it being kind if mechanical, like ‘hello’ and ‘you’re not fat’. You don’t care.
In any case, you are the Empress.
He is not the Emperor, not the King, not even a Prince.
Just a plain ol’ superhero.

not a word is getting through to me
when you scream
i’m a sponge
i soak it up
all the crap you put me through
won’t make me give up

The tragedy of all this is that he loves you. Maybe more than you love your self- centered self. He is willing to do anything and everything for you if he could. It’s not even a matter of you giving him a chance to do so, no, but a preening capability to give him all the damn chance in the world for you to enjoy the fruits of his suffering.
But beware.
The Incredible Absorbing Man may someday lose his incredibility.
Someone said that that if you abuse it, you will lose it. Someone sang that you will only miss the water when the well is gone. Whatever appropriate clichés there are, you should know how to appreciate your personal superhero and all his efforts. Its hard being in love with someone and getting nada for your pain and affection, and the least that you can do is let him know that you value all the tremendous amounts of superpowers utilized by just being in love with you.
In spite of you.

i will never falter
i will never quit
you’ll never find another
who’ll put up with this shit...