Friday, October 14, 2005

The Abyss of the Hanged

Falling in love is a nice feeling. It’s as if multihued bubbles dance in a constant, ethereal ballet with the wind whenever you’re with The Meaning of Your Existence. It’s as if the butterflies in your stomach will just explode in a burst of color if The Sun in Your Sky gave out another one of his or her cute smiles. It’s as if the clouds descended from the sky and gave you their express permission to tread on them any time you wish, which is probably all the time.

But enough of romanticizing, for puke is hard to clean. Let’s get to the gory details.

You learn that The Meaning of Your Existence does not love you, and worse, has his/her own Sun In The Sky. All your panic buttons are pushed by one bloody finger, a trapdoor opens beneath your feet, and you plunge into the Abyss of the Unrequited Lovers.
So you think that’s the worst thing that could ever happen to your nonexistent-love-life-slash-purgatory? No-uh. There is another kind of hell, the kind where you’re tearing your hair along with your heart, but not quite. The kind where you want to cry out to and curse and blame that person you’re in love with for the agony you are going through --- but how could you?
Ano ba kayo?
This is called the Abyss of The Hanged.

Those guys at the bottom of the pit would be burning in excruciating heat from the eternal fires of love unreciprocated. They will be moaning in pain like crazed animals and would lose all semblances to even the most primitive human being. Their hearts would resemble singed hairs and stink as much. Imps will be dancing around the graves they dig for themselves at the bottom of the Lake of Fire and taunt them with “Ay, sayang….kawawa ka naman….let go na kasi eh…” as if it’s the easiest thing to do on earth. However, the victims could clamber to the mouth of the abyss and learn their cruel lesson on the way down, as well from the way up (oo nga…kailangan na ngang lumimot…kahit naman anong gawin ko eh…wala talaga…).
But the people in the Abyss of the Hanged…they will be suspended by their shirts on rusty, giant, metal hooks. The bottom part of their hearts would be dealt with second- degree burns but the top would be soothed by gentle winds from the opening of the deep pit (sa palagay ko naman meron din…kaya lang…puta, ano ba to?). They will see the suffering and destruction when they glimpse down, but witness the blue and calm of the open sky when they look up. Sometimes they hear the creaks of the huge chains that hold the hooks, and wish they would just break and just get it over with (ayoko na…bakit kasi hindi na lang niya sabihin para tapos na…). Sometimes they see the light from above and wish they could just take their shirts from the poppers…but there is the nagging fear, the certain fear, that they can’t get a secure rock to hold on to at the right time and plunge down to the hell below (itatanong ko na! ngayon din!….pero, teka….
Paano kung hindi nga niya ako mah…?).

Where then, is the worst abyss? The certain pain where at least you can climb up or the unsure torture where you are incapable to move and thus, learn?
Confusion arises from indecision. How about trying to make up your mind whether you really want to know or not? The answers will not come; they, unfortunately, rarely do of their own accord. To avoid the Abyss of the Hanged, try to just ask…or let go. From there, learn. Live. Later love when you’re on surer ground.
Of course you just cant step up to the Meaning of Your Existence and at the snap of a finger ask, as if it’s the most natural thing on the world! Like with everything else, you need courage to face the music, may it be to a discordant noise or a rapturous melody. The truth may hurt, but it’s the truth, no matter how sharp, how blunt or how saccharine.

Face it.
Or walk away.

You would not want to be a denizen of the Abyss of the Hanged.
Trust me.

For the person who requested: What you don’t know won’t hurt you, but what you think you don’t know will. So ask.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

shocks... i want to talk to you. badly. em in desperate need of help.

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bat naman kasi long distance pa dyan sa cavite. harruuumpph.

6:43 PM  

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